No MoreThere's so many little thingsthat won't be the same.No more sharing a twin bedwith another warm body.No more late night trips to cook outor wandering up the mountainsor down some random road at three am.So many little things.No more kisses,no more being pressed up against the wallbeing smothered.No more giggles and laughter togetherabout something silly.No more movies or tv showsstaying up late into the morning.No more fightsno more sadnessno more anger.No more drunken nightswhere you leave me to sit by myself alone.No more should I or should I not momentsno more having to watch what I say.But in that,no more loveand happiness in all the simple things.No more.
Little ThingsIt's the little things that get to meand hurt me more than I thought would happen.I thought because there wasn't a huge problemno massive heart breakand we're still friendsthere wouldn't be any problemsno heartache.But the little pangs and reminders of what washit me hardcreating a vacuum in my chesta hole that was the place of someone I loved.Little things like playing cards;I beat you at your own game after you taught me.Showers;we acted like small childrenspit fights and playing with foam.Other times you'd wash my hairand I'd wash your backor we'd make out with the water running over one of us.Sheets;arguing over whose sheet was whosehow yours was thinner and breathedand mine was thicker.You never used a blanket and I always didbecause I was always cold.Music;I never liked your music that muchunless we were riding around in your carat three am.Dogs;meeting K'nish and the other fourthree which were bull dogsand I disliked that bred until I met yours.K
No World To Call My OwnLittle things make the pain comethe pain that crawls up from your stomachand latches itself into your heartas if it's an insect eating away.I walked my dog inside todayand I thought of youand tears started coming forth.I will never see your house againI will never see your dog againI will never eat dinner with your familyI will never swim in the poolI will never lay in your bed again.Thinking of it againbrings tears rushing forthlike a water hose out of control.But that's not all.Laying in bed with out youkills me sometimes.I am used to your warm bodypressed up next to me.The unique sent that is your own.When I see my sheets I think of youbecause you only slept under a sheeteven in the dead of winterand I'd need a sleeping bag.And while I know this is the right thingand we're not meant for each otherit still hurtsit still kills me on the inside sometimesbecause once upon a time I called you mineand you were my worldand now I have no world to call my own.
Better Than YouOnce upon a time(it's so easy to start there)It was sixth gradeand something happened there.I don't remember what it was butBAM!POOF!POWwe became good friendsand then best friends.You said it was because I was different then the othersI said I didn't rememberI was just glad.So sixth grade went by and we were coolyou were the popular girland I was that weird kid.Seventh grade and we were on the same teamwe didn't hang out during lunchwe just were together all the other times.I remember calling you on the phone and talkingand just hanging out.Was it sixth grade we bought the same set of clothes?I don't remember.Eighth grade rolled aroundyou were on the other teamwe didn't see each other as muchI thought I lost you but I really didn'twe hung out after school and were closeyou were my best friend and I was yours.Ninth grade we moved awaybut we still talked every dayeven though it was late for youand your parents would always ask"shouldn't she be sleeping?"
This TimeThis timeI didn't crythis timeI didn't do anything stupidNo piercingsno cut marksno self medicatingThis timeI want to swear it's the last timelike I did the time before and the time before that.I want to forget the pain of relationshipsand all the issues that come with it.This timeI want to learn how to be happy alonethat way I can be even more happy together.This time I have no regretsno I want you backsno this was a mistake.This time I'm just happy and contentand happy that you're not upsetand this time I'm okay.
someone else but meI look at all the other girls around methey're so funnythey're so cutethey have a best frienda boyfriendsomeone who caresand yeah maybe they're not happy with lifebut I think they're pretty greatand to be honest I'm jealous.I once wrote that I don't understand why I'm beautifuland I still don't.My personality is volatilechanging at every little thing.Then my looks are not what I'm sure they're meant to be.I had a dream of this girl with blonde hairshe was shorthad glasses and was pretty.She was me.I was her.I should be someone else but me.
WorthlessnessYou lay on the grass on the side of a hill next to the house. The house isn't important but the grass is. It's real grass that has dog shit in it at certain places. You know where to avoid it though so it's okay to walk around barefoot, even at night.You're laying down on this grass; it's real grass for once, not that fake shit that they call "grass" that they plot down in identical squares that you mow once a year. No this is the grass that you need to mow three times a week and tastes good if you actually desired to ingest a blade of grass. Your dogs do, and so do everyone else's dogs so you don't see why it's a bad idea. That aside you're laying in the grass in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. This means the grass pokes your naked skin. However it's not uncomfortable like the turf grass, so you don't mind at all.You stare up at the sky, wishing it wasn't cloudy so that you could see the stars. Usually you're afraid to sit outside in the dark even with your dog. Today th
Car RidesI can't put words to how I feel.You have to be therein the moment with me to understand.An old mini vanmusic blaring loudlyso loudly that the cars next to me look overthe clouds are dark and stormy behind the mountainscool air is rushing through the windowsmy hair is whiping in my faceSomething in my heart feels rightsomething in my mind feels perfectThis feeling I getearly evening in the summerwith the windows down and music blowingThis is perfectthis is rightthis is what I live forthese moments of utter bliss.
Every day, alwaysWe'll go to sleeplike we doevery daywe'll wake uplike we doevery daywe'll existlike we doevery daywe won't talk muchlike we doevery daywe won't act like a couplelike we doevery dayand i'll hear about how you're a jerklike i doevery dayand they'll tell me to leavelike they doevery dayand I'll tell them nolike i doevery dayand they'll flirt with melike they doevery dayand you'll just ignore melike you doevery dayand i'll still with you no matter whatlike i doalways.
Free Plushie Patterns OnlineHere's a collection of links to sites outside of DeviantArt where you can find free plushie patterns. There are well over two hundred choices, so you're sure to find something you like.However, if you can't find exactly what you're looking for, try adapting one of the patterns. For example, a tiger can easily be turned into a lion, an elephant into a woolly mammoth, an elf into a goblin, or combine the upper half of a mermaid with the lower half of a pony to get a centaur.Note: some pages may need to be translated or require sign-up to view free patterns.Check out Pattern-Depot for stuffed toy and costume patterns here on DeviantArt.BEARSNight Garden Studios Jointed and Rag BearsBaby Bows BearScrappy Be